Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize