office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i need some magic done to my vagina
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
