i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
