Your tits are I can't wait for
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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