Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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