Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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