Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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