We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
