do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
