This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize