this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
