So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
