I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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