There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
