FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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