So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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