my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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