Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
where are you?
Hypothermia
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
