I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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