She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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