i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize