I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
