found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
