im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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