Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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