haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize