Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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