Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she smelled like a LAN party
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
