Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
