He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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