so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize