Buhtt sex?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
