Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
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No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
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Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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