I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
