Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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