Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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