I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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