That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
whose parrot is this?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
