Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
