By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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