I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
