Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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