Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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