I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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