Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
