She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
