I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
two words...techno handjob
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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