Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
