Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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