i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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