I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
