she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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