I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
