Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
